[x]

And The Walls Came Tumbling DownI think I'd like to let my mind give way,
To spill over humanity, a disease -
An ocean rising up into a wave,
An epidemic, an endless viral sea.

I don't think prevention is the answer;
You cannot control what you don't understand.
I persevere; it eats me like cancer,
And watches me as psychosis takes my hand.

If I allow my mental walls to fail,
Would silence - kindly, softly - ever prevail?

She Used to Love The RainIt's like winter.
Grey and quiet and distant.
It's all sharp edges and
there isn't anything beautiful
or soft.

Do you know the way the world falls silent?
Like holding your breath,
holding, holding...
Like not feeling oxygen grace your lungs
until the spring.

Autumn is all warm colors and cold winds,
but it all fades in a week or two.
And then the rain comes.
The rain that you wish was snow.
The rain that drips from barren branches
and collects in mud puddles that never
really sink into the frozen ground.
The rain that makes you remember
what you wish it made you forget.
The rain...

It's like missing you.

Missing you, an

GaspThere was no
life in
danger, but
she pressed her
lips to his

and breathed
into him
all the
same.

Could it be...Could it be
That the clues I leave
Are really just holes
Just emptying my soul

Could it be
That no one can see
The pictures I draw
Of the things I saw

Could it be that
I write things people forget
And the things I say
Are forgotten within a day

Could it be that
People regret
Reading the things I write
And I just don't know it yet

Could it be
You can't understand me
And all my dreams
Aren't possible in this reality

Could it be
That I don't know myself
That I can't actually ever say
What I want to say

Could it be
That you are all deaf
And there is no reason left
To go on with me and continue talking

Could it be
That I just don't know
An

Bend to EndThere's a small crack
On the surface of my heart
And each word you utter
Forces it apart.

You're supposed to mend it
And pull it back together
But all you've ever done is
Make sure it stays forever.

And as I lay here
Listening to you shout
My heart starts to bleed
As streams of tears break out.

As my heart bleeds out
My life takes another bend
And with one last breath
I beg for it all to end.

VicesI know I shouldn’t say this ‘cause I’m not supposed to do
this
but today your hair looked different and I thought,
“She looks warm.”
Maybe I wouldn’t have noticed
if I hadn’t been at my coldest
but I was, and just looking at you
made my icy heart a storm
and I was born, newly formed
a frozen thing thawed,
reborn.
Some people, they give me the chills
and I can’t stand by them, sit still
but that’s not you, ‘cause you aren’t that-
not cold to the touch or icy, flat)
You’re much more than that.
You really are much more than that...
And yeah, I wish my heart wasn’t so damn cold
Wish my life wasn’t just a fate set to unfold
But it is, it really is, and you can change that-
I feel like you can,
See, I’ve got this plan…
Since you’re hot to the touch I’ll just make you my crutch
and the winds inside me, they will still-
so maybe when spring comes it all won’t

Listen to the muttering of a dead heart~Lets just forget about each other
Lets walk separate paths down the road
If we go different ways we'll be better
And we won't have to act so icy cold

I'm starting to get used to
Being alone at night
I'm starting to get used to
Our difference in height

I don't really know your thoughts
I only know half of mine
But I like to pull away
And you don't seem to mind

Can I just keep my mouth shut though?
Can I keep going the way I am
With my head going through the clouds
And your feet firmly planted on land

I'm ready for an artificial life
And I'm ready for you to choose for yourself
I can't tell you to your face
But at least I am honest with mys

Forever MoreIt's said true friendship is strong
A tree hundreds of years old
yet I saw a withered leaf falling
And the green begins to fade

Look beyond the withered leaf
See past the fading green
Look down into the soil
Where strong roots do grow.

I can hear dry branches cracking
And all the oncoming storms
Black clouds darkening the sky
Are we strong enough to prevail?

Though the branches may crack
As the winds bend them back
Look beyond the darkening clouds
The rays of the sun can be found.

I don't want to lose what we had.
I don't want to see it die.
But the wind takes the leaves away.
A barren skeleton is what is left.

cicatrix.she bites her lip
to keep in
the words she will not say.
because sometimes
strength demands distance.

they don't tell you this
when you're young,

but sometimes love isn't enough.
sometimes things just don't work-
no matter how hard you try.

sometimes you lose-
you fall on the pavement
and no one catches you.

she had nothing left to give,
so she gave herself a break.
sometimes love can't save you.
sometimes, you have to save yourself.

MarionetteThe strings dig deep into her veins.
She moves with them,
To dull the pain.
A painted face,
With a printed smile,
Her emotions left unversitile.

She dances alone, secluded,
Forlorn and deluded.
A disaster.
And only for her twisted master.
A mental crafter,
A vile bastard.

Only I can see the tears,
And only I know all her fears.
I flick my fingers to the right,
On my command she stands up right.
I flick my finger to the left.
She'd murder all the ones she left.

Maybe its love,
Or maybe it's insane.
I don't know the reasons,
Or why she's bound with chains.
I just can't help but love,
Her face so filled with pain.

SadnessSadness had always been an active resident in the places I had lived.
It swelled and breathed and scented the breeze like the dying petals of spring,
floating through open windowpanes and settling like dust on the empty shelves.
Sometimes it just appeared without visible entry like the cobwebs that roost in those corners you had thought so clean just a day ago. Or it unraveled in the morning dew and graced the cold spring skies, scattered like hundreds of wandering stars only visible in the light of a window.

It would melt into my morning tea, cooling the little tornadoes of cream and sugar that spun around my spoon and it would pass behi

RainRain trickles down my window pane
Sparkling glass
Crying diamond tears

Walking down the lane
Frozen in time
Like an old photograph

Bright colors, subdued with nostalgia
Glistening dewdrops
Kiss the flowers' velvet dresses

A fresh breeze
Swirls around me in a whirlwind of
Hope and love

I inhale the dreams that died
Buried under the hard ground
That the new rain has unearthed

I dance with abandon
Childish laughter bubbles up like a spring
As I vivaciously stomp through a stagnant puddle

Life breathes around me
As I spin and twirl
Smiling as the sun begins to shine on me

Parting through grey clouds
It beams at me with its gorgeous rays
An

ListenCan you hear me
Listen
Listen to my cries
Hear me
Feel my pain
See your neglect
Understand what you've put me through
Hear me roar
My anger bouncing off the wall
My sadness ringing in
Your deaf ears
Can't you hear me
Do you just not care
Listen to me
Listen
Don't walk away
I'm not finished
If only you'd hear me
If only I could make you see
Why won't you listen
Why don't you care
Do you not see the tears
I'm shedding
You're the one that's made to care
It's your job
Why can't you just listen

Maybe you can't hear me
Yeah
That's it
I'm just not loud enough

A day on the beach?Angry as fire, I visit the ocean
Where its cold hard rage would pacify mine
Behind me, a million stories are in motion
My parents are laughing, my brother's asleep
A camel walks by and two people are fighting
Behind me, the world is bursting with emotion
Yet, here I am, trying to write poetry
And my rage at my poems is like a strong potion
Pen in hand, notes on my lap, and my feet in the sand
As I create some poetry with honest devotion
But my mind is blank and I don't understand
As if my mind is fogged up and full of pollution
So I skim through your poetry, yours, and yours
And I'm horrified at the beauty that your words can bri

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Birds Inside my Bedroom WallsThere are strange noises late that night
that rouse me from my peaceful slumber.

Chirp, tweet,
tweet, chirp.
There are birds inside my bedroom walls.

They sing and they call.
At first,
I think it's coming from outside
while I lay in my bed and listen,
but then I hear it clear as day,
unclear as darkest night,
as they talk to me,
from within my bedroom walls.

"There are birds in my walls, mother
we must get them out.
They're singing, they're crying,
they're asking me to free them.
We must save them.
They're trapped."

And she says,
"There are no birds in the walls, honey.
You're dreaming.
The birds don't share their songs at night

HelplessI see myself in a place without walls
On hard and dirty ground
No-one to call,
No way to be found.

I see myself in a street without cars,
Where alive and dead men sleep
under hidden sparkling stars
and at our misfortune weep.

I see myself with a body that's sold
to survive, I am bought,
a living doll that's not warm but cold,
and in the web of helplessness hopelessly caught.

I see myself with a needle and bottle,
An easy escape
No one to comfort me, to coddle
while my insides gape.

I see myself living in trash
smelling like death
all out of cash
and losing my breath.

I see myself dying among strangers and strays
not carin

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[x]

You're a Cage

by ~Wolfgisella, Jan 2, 2013, 4:59:00 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

You're a Cage, mother
and I love you
but I can't handle it,
because every time you tell me you want to die
a part of me dies as well.

Don't you see how it makes me feel?
Of course you don't
because I smile.
I act apathetic.
You're sad enough for the both of us
and I have to be strong because you're not.

I'm not strong either, but I have to be.
Inside, I'm suffering too.

You're a cage, mother.
A cage with a simple lock.
I have the key
but I won't use it.
I can't,
because you can't live without me
and I love you
even though being around you sometimes
makes me wonder what I'm living for.

You're a cage
that locks away my independence.
I dream of flying, but I can't leave my nest
Your cage is all I've ever known.
Could I even survive on my own?

I love you
but you want to die.
I tiptoe around your sensitivities.

What about me?
What about my life?
I love you, but I just want out of this jail

Within me, is the spirit of a bird
soaring above humans and all their traps and cages,
all their entrapment.

Why do you always cry?
Why do you want to die
when I always smile at you,
for you,
and give all of myself and my freedom for your happiness.

You're a cage, mother
and though this cage is all I know
I want something more.
I need it.

Release me.
Help me.
My guilt,
My feeling of responsibility.
I don't want to be selfish
All I ask for is my freedom.
Can't I have that much?

What is independence like?

I don't want to be alone.
I don't want you to die,
but birds weren't meant to live in cages
They were given wings to fly.

You're a cage, mother
and I love you.
I know you need me
because even I'm not near enough for you,
but I need me as well.

I am me.
I don't belong to you.
I just let you cage me cause I'm all you have.

You're suicidal
and it hurts me.
Your constant threats of ending everything
that you never act on
that I fear you someday will.

Don't die. Don't die. Don't die.
But I can't save you while I'm in this cage.
I can't even save myself
so don't ask this of me.
I'm already giving you so much.
My fake smiles and reassurances are all I have for you.

You're a cage, mother.
I love you
but I'm a prisoner of you and my own will.
“I hate my life,
I just want to die.”
Your regular running mantra
that tears me up inside
and kills me.

I love you
and I know you love me
but you're a cage mother,
and it hurts that you can't see that,
That you can't save yourself.
I can't save both you and me
but I'm terrified of what choice I know I'll make.

Because, I don't know independence.
All I know is you
and your suffocating cage.
You're slowly killing me
the same way you're slowly killing yourself
and you don't even see it.

I love you, mother
but you cage me
and right now
I can't see a way out.

You're a Cageby ~Wolfgisella

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

This is me in an emotional mood. In my last poem, Helpless, I tried my hand at regular rhyming. For this poem, I tried something more free verse. I just wrote what I was feeling and thinking exactly as I was thinking it.

~~love 0 0~~

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

sad 2 2

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~mlphipps1991 Jan 2, 2013 Student Writer

I'm sorry you're stuck in this dynamic. I can somewhat relate. My mom has a lot of health issues and spends more time in the hospital than at home. There are some controllable and uncontrollable factors that make her health worse, like not following her diabetic diet, and we don't have the money to pay for all of her meds. I'm always scared that with each stay at the hospital, she'll die soon. And even writing that one sentence there takes my breath away and I feel guilty for even thinking it- it goes back to that selfish feeling you talk about in your poem. Partially due to her health, I picked a college in town. I may have to transfer colleges and I haven't a clue as to how to manage that. I don't know if I'll ever feel like it's safe for me to be independent, go out of state for grad school, and everything else that I talk about. I can definately relate.

~Wolfgisella Jan 2, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Wow. It seems like you really do seem to get a lot of what I was trying to express in this poem. I'm sorry for your circumstances as well. It's always nice to know that there's somebody out there that can relate to what you're going through and understand what it is you're trying to say, but it's sad as well. There are just so many emotions that go into situations like these. Thank you for reading and commenting. I wish you and your family the best.

~mlphipps1991 Jan 2, 2013 Student Writer

Thank you and I wish the same for you and your mother. <3

~Dezzydo Jan 2, 2013 Student Writer

i am sorry i know how a crap of a mother feels i just dont live with mine. sorry that you have to deal with this

~Wolfgisella Jan 2, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Aw. Thanks for the comment. She's not a crap mother, really. She just suffers from bad depression and it just really brings me down sometimes. Her sadness cages her in as much as it cages me. Thanks for reading.

~Dezzydo Jan 2, 2013 Student Writer

sorry for using the word crap but i understand how that makes me feel and my birth mother suffers from deppression and bioloar

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You're a Cage

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